Green Grass

Ugh, the yard! Its my nemesis!! I have big dreams, flower beds, hanging gardens of Babylon, lovely flowering grasses, and tiny little gnomes nestled cutely in hidey holes, a quiet oasis from the craziness of our lives.... in reality, we have a weed garden, over grown grass and a pile of little boy treasures, guns, sticks, rocks! OH! and poop, we have lotsa dog poop! It's glorious. At least the poop makes the grass grow greener.

The weeds are running triumphantly through the flower beds, spreading their little weed babies, and the quack grass and chick weed are becoming lush and thick, absorbing all the precious vitamins from the soil and becoming stronger! I wanna lay on my deck and slit my throat! My deck is the best part of the yard!

How can a seemingly normal person not have enough time in the week to weed? Or mow, or rake and scoop and pluck and trim?! Exactly, where in my wonderful day that is filled with pant loads of baby poop, dirty dishes and meal prep, do I have time to trim and pluck myself, let alone the damn trees in the back yard?! We bought our house from an older couple that had nothing better to do than pluck, trim, weed and fuss.

So this year, after 4 summers of whining and bitching and trying to maintain the chaos, the dismantling shall begin..... Good Bye Weed errr, Rock Garden, hello green mow-able grass! Buh Bye Quack Grass, oh I mean flower bed, hello Swing Set and sand box!! See Ya Prickly Pear Cactus, and your nasty little pokes, enter in a beautiful sidewalk and planter boxes full of sterilized dirt and lush store bought flowers!

Now all I need is a minion who works for beer and loves to dig rocks! Any takers??