no time for lace!

Ring...ring...ring.... Call from Chapman C!!..... shit balls!! 3 rings and its over for getting to the phone before the voice mail picks up, and tomorrow I will change it to at least 5 rings. At 5 rings at least I have some hope in getting my fat ass off the couch, outta the loo, away from the whiny baby and scrambling to retrieve the phone, wherever it may be hiding.

"Ang?" "Yes #4?" "I need you, and its important...." "OK, I'm in en route"......

Hang up the phone and start to toss on clothes, because a Moo-Moo (unless its 3 am) is not appropriate outer wear for an emergency! realize the only clean clothes are a hoodie with a hole in it and my homeless jeans. SHIT!! And my hair is in the extremely classy pre morning coffee look! Double shit! Bra, I need a bra!! Bra? Bra? BRA!! Damn!! Washing machine! All 4 of my fav's! Double damn.... wet bra? Ewwww or the laundry day bra!! Oh dear Lord above!!Hurry hurry hurry..... trip over the dog and the toddler, stub my toe!

Insert more swearing and frantic searching for a flip flop and I'm off to retrieve my #4 and baby Shalom.

Now why is it that every dang time there is a Cook Family emergency I am A) dressed in my moo-moo or B) missing a bra? I am noticing a tread here, and quite frankly I am not enjoying it. The last crisis involved me in a 8xl (i am not joking) t-shirt that I love to sleep in and yellow, blue, white and black striped pj pants,camping hair and of course no boobie holder! FML x 2 million Before that, it was my grandma's turn to have a Cook family crisis and I found myself in a Stars plane in a t-shirt, my laundry bra and sweats in -45 weather..... for 4 days!! Happy day to me!! Before that?? Me, with my hysterical child, in my moo-moo and of course no bra, knocking on my neighbour's door asking for help to remove a dime for his mouth! I am packing an emergency bag that includes a good book, a cell charger and a dozen bras because I always seem to be missing them in a crisis.

I'm a heavy chested woman, these ta-ta's need some control, some support, some love! They can't roam free, swaying and bouncing! It will be mayhem! And honestly, I'm not a free wheeling braless lady! There a time and place to be braless! At night, and early morning and that pretty much it! Unless they are perky little glorious boobies or they are falsies! And yet, here I sit wondering when I will be summoned again and if I will have a chance to grab a decent bra!

cranky babies suck!

I love The Princess Wong, don't get me wrong! She terrific!! When she's not breaking in teeth like some tiny human shark.... she's usually sweet and happy, smiley and giggling... unless there are teeth involved! Then both her and I feel slightly suicidal.
She has no patience for anyone in the world when she's teething except for my dad, and nothing will make her happy. She is currently tossing things around at her leisure in our store, because A) I can't take the whining and B) I need 5 peaceful minutes to be able to string together a reasonable adult thought that doesn't involve numerous bottles of wine.

The Princess Wong is perfect. But alas, slightly more needy that the usual 13 month old child. PW gets to much love! LOL We have waited 7 long years for the arrival of the Princess and she knows it. She arrived in this world knowing my whole family had watched my Chinscot and I beg, cry and plead to our Creator above for a baby of our own! So with that, the Princess is spoiled!

She takes full advantage of our love for her..... her perfect little blue eyes and her perfect little angel face is the start of our downfall into love... then comes her fat little hands and her fat little legs, and her little warm round body. When you hold her, you can feel all the weight of the world disappear into oblivion. Nothing can compare to seeing her little arms straight up in the arm like a monkey and her running to you, pleading with her little toddler sound to scoop her up and hug her forever.

But recently she's gotten a mouth full of gloriously sharp tiny white teeth! Dear Jesus Above!!! And with each new addition of teeth, a new attitude "improvement" is lovely bestowed upon my family. With the front teeth, we were blessed with the wonderful high pitched squeal and smacking. Then the bottoms we were introduced to the famous "Stink Eye" she gives when things aren't quite kosher in her world. And now recently with the eye teeth we are dealt with the "Walking whines". Each step a lovely grumbling/moaning sound escapes from her lips. Its a sound that is almost indescribable, one must hear it to truly appreciate it. Its one of those sounds that makes your ears want to bleed and (if you are a man) your left nut to ache. Advil and Tylenol are now staples in our home!

So if you are coming to visit, bring wine and maybe some ear plugs <3