no time for lace!

Ring...ring...ring.... Call from Chapman C!!..... shit balls!! 3 rings and its over for getting to the phone before the voice mail picks up, and tomorrow I will change it to at least 5 rings. At 5 rings at least I have some hope in getting my fat ass off the couch, outta the loo, away from the whiny baby and scrambling to retrieve the phone, wherever it may be hiding.

"Ang?" "Yes #4?" "I need you, and its important...." "OK, I'm in en route"......

Hang up the phone and start to toss on clothes, because a Moo-Moo (unless its 3 am) is not appropriate outer wear for an emergency! realize the only clean clothes are a hoodie with a hole in it and my homeless jeans. SHIT!! And my hair is in the extremely classy pre morning coffee look! Double shit! Bra, I need a bra!! Bra? Bra? BRA!! Damn!! Washing machine! All 4 of my fav's! Double damn.... wet bra? Ewwww or the laundry day bra!! Oh dear Lord above!!Hurry hurry hurry..... trip over the dog and the toddler, stub my toe!

Insert more swearing and frantic searching for a flip flop and I'm off to retrieve my #4 and baby Shalom.

Now why is it that every dang time there is a Cook Family emergency I am A) dressed in my moo-moo or B) missing a bra? I am noticing a tread here, and quite frankly I am not enjoying it. The last crisis involved me in a 8xl (i am not joking) t-shirt that I love to sleep in and yellow, blue, white and black striped pj pants,camping hair and of course no boobie holder! FML x 2 million Before that, it was my grandma's turn to have a Cook family crisis and I found myself in a Stars plane in a t-shirt, my laundry bra and sweats in -45 weather..... for 4 days!! Happy day to me!! Before that?? Me, with my hysterical child, in my moo-moo and of course no bra, knocking on my neighbour's door asking for help to remove a dime for his mouth! I am packing an emergency bag that includes a good book, a cell charger and a dozen bras because I always seem to be missing them in a crisis.

I'm a heavy chested woman, these ta-ta's need some control, some support, some love! They can't roam free, swaying and bouncing! It will be mayhem! And honestly, I'm not a free wheeling braless lady! There a time and place to be braless! At night, and early morning and that pretty much it! Unless they are perky little glorious boobies or they are falsies! And yet, here I sit wondering when I will be summoned again and if I will have a chance to grab a decent bra!