I love working... I loved waitressing (usually) the customers, oh the hot rig pigs that tip $20 and drink like fish! The old men that have to epic stories, the sick feeling of messing up an order or the rush of the lunch or dinner hour, when you know the kitchen is in the weeds and salvation is waiting right after the fries are plated... I've been there and I love counting my loot at the end of the night and secretly mocking the newbie waitress (in my head of course) about her lame tips.....
But then I had tiny humans and fell in love with an Asian, alas I grew up. And with growing up you get a career! I loved working at the paper, yelling at Alice and the drama that surrounds most offices, the temper tantrums, the whining and inner office turmoil makes me long for the career I left behind to be stay at home mommy to Kalliope :)
So upward and onward I climb to start a career of my own.... no more Yo GAbba Gabba or Four Squares, forget the sweet joy of coffee and the morning news, or snuggling Kalli before her noisy brother wakes up, there's no time for watching early morning retro toon's with the boy child before school or afternoon naps....
Upon starting my job, i realize several things. Yoga pants and Star Trek t-shirts are not approved dress code (damn it, do my dress pants even fit anymore?!) Adult women with jobs are required to wear more than mascara every day, the just wash and wear look hair -do isn't so cool with out an toddler on your hip and I may have forgotten how to use hair spray (after I find the stupid stuff)
Then there's the child care.... we are just finishing our first week, and to be honest I secretly hoping there would be more drama in dropping Princess Wong off! But nope, even the first day, she is walks in like she owns the place and and makes herself at home. I get a half hearted wave buh-bye and she's off to destroy someone else's home. I hoped for at least some tears and a clingy NO MOMMY NO at least once or twice! Heavens, I've had her every day since her birth!!! But nope, alas I am forced to kiss my squirming toddler good bye and let another woman get her smiles and love for the next 6 hours!
Maybe next week there will be some daycare drama or my son will need me at school! Maybe the dog will get sick or the hamster will escape.... heavens, something somewhere needs to happen to make me feel like life will go on without me at home all day!!
Cheers All!! P.S. Eat your vegetables! :)
just smile :)
all you need is love <3
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
like raising a wild monkey.....
I love my boy, I truly do!! In some ways he's the best kid in the world. He's polite (to other people) he's smart (usually smart mouthed as well), he's kind and he's full of energy!! But sometimes, he's as dumb as a sack of wet hair. Now I know that its because he's 8. Eight year old boys aren't bright. His train of thought centers mostly in the action movie that is playing out in real time in his little brain. He is gonna be the X-fighter on the motorcycle flying 500 feet in the air doing a side superman stunt. And I'll be in the crowd cheering and clapping because seriously the hopes of him becoming a doctor is loooong faded. He's to high energy. His thought process is that of Evel Knievel's! Go as hard and as fast as humanly possible and worry about the road rash when you stop.
Which brings to me to hard part. Raising the fool is like trying to herd cats!! It's nearly frigging impossible!! Most nights I collapse into bed and say a small prayer to the Good Lord above that A) I managed to maintain my sanity for another day and B) Josh didn't manage to break any bones.
It hurts my heart that a good punishment for Josh is to sit idle and do nothing. If I choose to punish him in that way, I also must make him sit on his hands because 2 minutes into the time out he's making warrior finger puppets and is engaged in an epic battle to win the gold! FML! Just spank him you say! Sounds reasonable, break his little spirit, see if he can fly when you've crushed his little life spark out.... sounds easy, but upon giving Josh a choice of a spanking or a time out, he will choose the spanking. Why you ask?? " Cuz if you spank me then i can go back and play... if I have to sit still I get sad!" True quote, NO LIE! Try reasoning with that! LOL
So what is a parent to do? Well I'll tell you what I'm doing! I have a stock pile of wine and vodka for the rough days of parenting. And I have learned to cherish the moments when he's calm and mellow, when he's not hell bent on breaking his neck on a quad or the dirt bug. I've learnt that Walmart jeans rip just as nicely as GAP jeans and Quicksilver shirts are just as good to cut into pieces to wipe his butt in the woods(thanks for that tip uncle Grant) as the Joe shirt. He's sported more blackeyes in his 8 years of life than I have in my whole life. He doesn't care if his socks match or that his hair smells like quad exhaust. So if he manages to wash his hands for supper, learns to read and manages to make it out of grade 3 alive, and keep all his adult teeth safely in his mouth I'm pleased as a pig in fecal matter!!
I'm gonna just hunker down and ride out the growing pains. Maybe pop an ativan once in awhile to add alittle woosa in my life!! :)
God Bless little boys!!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
no time for lace!
Ring...ring...ring.... Call from Chapman C!!..... shit balls!! 3 rings and its over for getting to the phone before the voice mail picks up, and tomorrow I will change it to at least 5 rings. At 5 rings at least I have some hope in getting my fat ass off the couch, outta the loo, away from the whiny baby and scrambling to retrieve the phone, wherever it may be hiding.
"Ang?" "Yes #4?" "I need you, and its important...." "OK, I'm in en route"......
Hang up the phone and start to toss on clothes, because a Moo-Moo (unless its 3 am) is not appropriate outer wear for an emergency! realize the only clean clothes are a hoodie with a hole in it and my homeless jeans. SHIT!! And my hair is in the extremely classy pre morning coffee look! Double shit! Bra, I need a bra!! Bra? Bra? BRA!! Damn!! Washing machine! All 4 of my fav's! Double damn.... wet bra? Ewwww or the laundry day bra!! Oh dear Lord above!!Hurry hurry hurry..... trip over the dog and the toddler, stub my toe!
Insert more swearing and frantic searching for a flip flop and I'm off to retrieve my #4 and baby Shalom.
Now why is it that every dang time there is a Cook Family emergency I am A) dressed in my moo-moo or B) missing a bra? I am noticing a tread here, and quite frankly I am not enjoying it. The last crisis involved me in a 8xl (i am not joking) t-shirt that I love to sleep in and yellow, blue, white and black striped pj pants,camping hair and of course no boobie holder! FML x 2 million Before that, it was my grandma's turn to have a Cook family crisis and I found myself in a Stars plane in a t-shirt, my laundry bra and sweats in -45 weather..... for 4 days!! Happy day to me!! Before that?? Me, with my hysterical child, in my moo-moo and of course no bra, knocking on my neighbour's door asking for help to remove a dime for his mouth! I am packing an emergency bag that includes a good book, a cell charger and a dozen bras because I always seem to be missing them in a crisis.
I'm a heavy chested woman, these ta-ta's need some control, some support, some love! They can't roam free, swaying and bouncing! It will be mayhem! And honestly, I'm not a free wheeling braless lady! There a time and place to be braless! At night, and early morning and that pretty much it! Unless they are perky little glorious boobies or they are falsies! And yet, here I sit wondering when I will be summoned again and if I will have a chance to grab a decent bra!
"Ang?" "Yes #4?" "I need you, and its important...." "OK, I'm in en route"......
Hang up the phone and start to toss on clothes, because a Moo-Moo (unless its 3 am) is not appropriate outer wear for an emergency! realize the only clean clothes are a hoodie with a hole in it and my homeless jeans. SHIT!! And my hair is in the extremely classy pre morning coffee look! Double shit! Bra, I need a bra!! Bra? Bra? BRA!! Damn!! Washing machine! All 4 of my fav's! Double damn.... wet bra? Ewwww or the laundry day bra!! Oh dear Lord above!!Hurry hurry hurry..... trip over the dog and the toddler, stub my toe!
Insert more swearing and frantic searching for a flip flop and I'm off to retrieve my #4 and baby Shalom.
Now why is it that every dang time there is a Cook Family emergency I am A) dressed in my moo-moo or B) missing a bra? I am noticing a tread here, and quite frankly I am not enjoying it. The last crisis involved me in a 8xl (i am not joking) t-shirt that I love to sleep in and yellow, blue, white and black striped pj pants,camping hair and of course no boobie holder! FML x 2 million Before that, it was my grandma's turn to have a Cook family crisis and I found myself in a Stars plane in a t-shirt, my laundry bra and sweats in -45 weather..... for 4 days!! Happy day to me!! Before that?? Me, with my hysterical child, in my moo-moo and of course no bra, knocking on my neighbour's door asking for help to remove a dime for his mouth! I am packing an emergency bag that includes a good book, a cell charger and a dozen bras because I always seem to be missing them in a crisis.
I'm a heavy chested woman, these ta-ta's need some control, some support, some love! They can't roam free, swaying and bouncing! It will be mayhem! And honestly, I'm not a free wheeling braless lady! There a time and place to be braless! At night, and early morning and that pretty much it! Unless they are perky little glorious boobies or they are falsies! And yet, here I sit wondering when I will be summoned again and if I will have a chance to grab a decent bra!
Friday, August 5, 2011
cranky babies suck!
I love The Princess Wong, don't get me wrong! She terrific!! When she's not breaking in teeth like some tiny human shark.... she's usually sweet and happy, smiley and giggling... unless there are teeth involved! Then both her and I feel slightly suicidal.
She has no patience for anyone in the world when she's teething except for my dad, and nothing will make her happy. She is currently tossing things around at her leisure in our store, because A) I can't take the whining and B) I need 5 peaceful minutes to be able to string together a reasonable adult thought that doesn't involve numerous bottles of wine.
The Princess Wong is perfect. But alas, slightly more needy that the usual 13 month old child. PW gets to much love! LOL We have waited 7 long years for the arrival of the Princess and she knows it. She arrived in this world knowing my whole family had watched my Chinscot and I beg, cry and plead to our Creator above for a baby of our own! So with that, the Princess is spoiled!
She takes full advantage of our love for her..... her perfect little blue eyes and her perfect little angel face is the start of our downfall into love... then comes her fat little hands and her fat little legs, and her little warm round body. When you hold her, you can feel all the weight of the world disappear into oblivion. Nothing can compare to seeing her little arms straight up in the arm like a monkey and her running to you, pleading with her little toddler sound to scoop her up and hug her forever.
But recently she's gotten a mouth full of gloriously sharp tiny white teeth! Dear Jesus Above!!! And with each new addition of teeth, a new attitude "improvement" is lovely bestowed upon my family. With the front teeth, we were blessed with the wonderful high pitched squeal and smacking. Then the bottoms we were introduced to the famous "Stink Eye" she gives when things aren't quite kosher in her world. And now recently with the eye teeth we are dealt with the "Walking whines". Each step a lovely grumbling/moaning sound escapes from her lips. Its a sound that is almost indescribable, one must hear it to truly appreciate it. Its one of those sounds that makes your ears want to bleed and (if you are a man) your left nut to ache. Advil and Tylenol are now staples in our home!
So if you are coming to visit, bring wine and maybe some ear plugs <3
She has no patience for anyone in the world when she's teething except for my dad, and nothing will make her happy. She is currently tossing things around at her leisure in our store, because A) I can't take the whining and B) I need 5 peaceful minutes to be able to string together a reasonable adult thought that doesn't involve numerous bottles of wine.
The Princess Wong is perfect. But alas, slightly more needy that the usual 13 month old child. PW gets to much love! LOL We have waited 7 long years for the arrival of the Princess and she knows it. She arrived in this world knowing my whole family had watched my Chinscot and I beg, cry and plead to our Creator above for a baby of our own! So with that, the Princess is spoiled!
She takes full advantage of our love for her..... her perfect little blue eyes and her perfect little angel face is the start of our downfall into love... then comes her fat little hands and her fat little legs, and her little warm round body. When you hold her, you can feel all the weight of the world disappear into oblivion. Nothing can compare to seeing her little arms straight up in the arm like a monkey and her running to you, pleading with her little toddler sound to scoop her up and hug her forever.
But recently she's gotten a mouth full of gloriously sharp tiny white teeth! Dear Jesus Above!!! And with each new addition of teeth, a new attitude "improvement" is lovely bestowed upon my family. With the front teeth, we were blessed with the wonderful high pitched squeal and smacking. Then the bottoms we were introduced to the famous "Stink Eye" she gives when things aren't quite kosher in her world. And now recently with the eye teeth we are dealt with the "Walking whines". Each step a lovely grumbling/moaning sound escapes from her lips. Its a sound that is almost indescribable, one must hear it to truly appreciate it. Its one of those sounds that makes your ears want to bleed and (if you are a man) your left nut to ache. Advil and Tylenol are now staples in our home!
So if you are coming to visit, bring wine and maybe some ear plugs <3
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
my sisters have numbers......
Well, my sisters are an interesting bunch... I have my #4 and my #5, both equally epic, and i have my mini me. She's 8 and the twinkle in both my dad's eye and in all of ours.... we were all grown when my mini me rolled in and she's spoiled! She's like a tiny me, mouthy, slightly rude and extremely opinionated
.... frankly I blame her father, but apparently everyone else blames us!
my #4 is actually my 1st sister and my 2nd sibling, my #5 is actually my 2nd sister and my 3rd sibling... are you confused yet my dear blog reader? Oh! And i am #1! As I am well, Great and the first born! :)
now imagine this my friends, the paralyzers were flowing, the tequila was cheap and the bar tab was low. My sisters and I were doing what we enjoyed the best (when we were young and single) and slutting for drinks!We are a great team, and slutting for drinks was a epic past time :) We were in the bag, all three of us! AND, some ridiculous rig pig, with his hazy eyes and slurred words was trying with all his might to A) remember our names and B) take my #5 home... alas we began the epic Halverson saga of who is who... somewhere between the free paralyzers,the Jose and gladiators we decided that I of course was the #1 and the boss of everyone's life, then comes my foolish brother, THEN for some reason (I blame the Jose, those Mexicans are ludicrous) we decided our sister in law Froggy needed to be #3, and entering the mix at the end, my epic sisters #4 and #5! And thusly the names have stuck..... through fighting and yelling, tears and laughter, my #4 and my #5 are there.....
always and forever in the wrong damn order!! if you are lucky enough to have a sister half as marvelous as mine, you should count yourself lucky!! And even when I think my #4 is hormonal and slightly unstable and when I am almost sure my #5 is bipolar and hears voices I know that they love me and wanna punch me as much as I wanna punch them <3
.... frankly I blame her father, but apparently everyone else blames us!
my #4 is actually my 1st sister and my 2nd sibling, my #5 is actually my 2nd sister and my 3rd sibling... are you confused yet my dear blog reader? Oh! And i am #1! As I am well, Great and the first born! :)
now imagine this my friends, the paralyzers were flowing, the tequila was cheap and the bar tab was low. My sisters and I were doing what we enjoyed the best (when we were young and single) and slutting for drinks!We are a great team, and slutting for drinks was a epic past time :) We were in the bag, all three of us! AND, some ridiculous rig pig, with his hazy eyes and slurred words was trying with all his might to A) remember our names and B) take my #5 home... alas we began the epic Halverson saga of who is who... somewhere between the free paralyzers,the Jose and gladiators we decided that I of course was the #1 and the boss of everyone's life, then comes my foolish brother, THEN for some reason (I blame the Jose, those Mexicans are ludicrous) we decided our sister in law Froggy needed to be #3, and entering the mix at the end, my epic sisters #4 and #5! And thusly the names have stuck..... through fighting and yelling, tears and laughter, my #4 and my #5 are there.....
always and forever in the wrong damn order!! if you are lucky enough to have a sister half as marvelous as mine, you should count yourself lucky!! And even when I think my #4 is hormonal and slightly unstable and when I am almost sure my #5 is bipolar and hears voices I know that they love me and wanna punch me as much as I wanna punch them <3
Sunday, May 8, 2011
My Mother
Everyone has a mother, after all we aren't hatched right? Some mothers are average, and some are ok, and still others aren't very great at all. My siblings and I have the privilege of having an extraordinary mother. The best of the best. The best of the best you say?! That's quite the claim! My mother is pretty swell as well, you think to yourself. But alas, read on dear Blog followers and learn what makes an exceptional mother.
My mother was quite young when I,The Great One, the first born graced the face of the planet. Born to teenage parents in the 1979, it would seem that perhaps my fate was doomed from the start. Enter point 1 of extraordinary mothering! LOL she stayed with my paternal grandparents until I was 4! FOUR! can you frigging imagine raising your child (when you are but a child yourself) with your in-laws?! I feel suicidal at the mere thought!! She is like Mother Mary herself!
Soon we were solo, me and Pugsley, my Mom and my biological dad. Moving just up the hill into a 3 bedroom house constructed by my Papa and father. I spent the first year trying to sneak back "home" to my grandparents, which according to them is where I belonged. It must have been hard for my mom, to listen to me cry and beg to be somewhere other than with her, but she endured and made me stay in my new home!
My father was often gone working or drinking or sometimes a great combo of both, isn't that just magical!! I blame my love of tequila on him! Mom was in charge of a herd of foolish goats, pigs, chickens, sheep and a stream of ridiculous animals we begged to have, four small kids and no money! She did chores for the neighbouring farms to make money or to trade for supplies like eggs and milk. (I would be telling my drunk of a husband to wise up, with a firm boot to the babymaker) OH! and was often roped into helping her in-laws on various life or death situations, because you know she was young and quick!
"Just squirrel up there" my Papa would say, pointing to the top of the barn loft, as the roof is crumbling and the bats are moving in " you'll be fine, your young and bouncy" ..... or "Jump into the boar pen ok, and grab that piglet, I'll distract the boar over here, just hop the fence if it looks dicey" my fav! "Get in the tractor bucket and I'll lift you in the air (30 or so feet) to tie that ok?" JESUS! I woulda told that old fool to get stuffed!!
How we had everything we ever needed still amazes me, this woman can stretch a dollar like no other!! We were never hungry, sick of eating rice and wild meat, but never truly hungry and we always had apples and oranges. We always had clothes and decent shoes and love! We always had love. I think back on the times I ate my homemade jam and bread sandwich at school longing for the thin slices of wonderbread and the jam from a jar like my friends. Or all the times I traded my homemade cookies for oreos and listen to my classmates say how they wish their mom's would make them cookies. I remember thinking I wish my mom would buy cookies and bread instead of making them. As a grown up, I think about everything I do in a day, and then try to fit in making bread and cookies for my kids.... can't do it, there's a trade off - clean house and an on time supper or cookies?? Forget baking bread during the week, cuz that's just crazy talk!
Mom is the mother that went without so we could have something.... no cigarettes so we could have lunch money, or no coffee so we could have the treat at the store. She would scrimp and save so my sisters and I could have the "good" shampoo and conditioner, and the expensive deodorant. Those small things I will remember forever. She would fight with our father so we could go on field trips, sport events and sleepovers. I never saw my mom buy herself something new until I was grown and had a kid of my own, and even then she was concerned that it was over $20! Seriously!
She always had and still does have time for us, each of us. All four "big" kids, and then my mini me (my baby sister) and all the grandkids we have blessed her with.We never felt left out or that she loved one of us or than the other. She always has time to listen to us, or our children or our friends. And she sees the difference in us as well, where I need a firm hand ;) and my #4 needed a softer approach, my #5 needed to run wild and free and Pugsley needed to stand and be a man. She taught us to be kind, and compassionate, and to share what we had, even if what we had was nothing. She showed us that things aren't always crap, and sometimes you need to make your own happy ending. She made us all to be independent and strong.To have a voice, and make yourself be heard. She showed us that if you make a mistake, have enough pride in yourself to say you screwed up and take the aftermath like an adult. She taught us how to be good role models and good parents.
We didn't have the cleanest house in Canada, but when you have sneaky baby goats, a shetland pony that can open doors and a child with a guinea pig farm and a child with a stealing ferret,parrots, rats and basically a zoo, who can keep a clean house? We might not have had designer clothes, but we had clean and hole free clothes, and shoes that were suitable for the season. We might not have had alot growing up, but what we did have was special. We were the 5 marines, just us against the world..... the bonds between us are unbreakable, even if we fight, it will always be us against the world.
The 5 most important thing I learned from my mother
1. If you can read, you can do anything
2. Money doesn't = Love
3. Don't shot until you can see the whites of their eyes
4. Be kind to everyone, even if they don't deserve it
5. Kids need to get dirty
If I am half the mother my Mom is, I will be proud of myself, because her shoes are extreme hard to
fill!!
Happy Mothers Days!! ~ Angie
My mother was quite young when I,The Great One, the first born graced the face of the planet. Born to teenage parents in the 1979, it would seem that perhaps my fate was doomed from the start. Enter point 1 of extraordinary mothering! LOL she stayed with my paternal grandparents until I was 4! FOUR! can you frigging imagine raising your child (when you are but a child yourself) with your in-laws?! I feel suicidal at the mere thought!! She is like Mother Mary herself!
Soon we were solo, me and Pugsley, my Mom and my biological dad. Moving just up the hill into a 3 bedroom house constructed by my Papa and father. I spent the first year trying to sneak back "home" to my grandparents, which according to them is where I belonged. It must have been hard for my mom, to listen to me cry and beg to be somewhere other than with her, but she endured and made me stay in my new home!
My father was often gone working or drinking or sometimes a great combo of both, isn't that just magical!! I blame my love of tequila on him! Mom was in charge of a herd of foolish goats, pigs, chickens, sheep and a stream of ridiculous animals we begged to have, four small kids and no money! She did chores for the neighbouring farms to make money or to trade for supplies like eggs and milk. (I would be telling my drunk of a husband to wise up, with a firm boot to the babymaker) OH! and was often roped into helping her in-laws on various life or death situations, because you know she was young and quick!
"Just squirrel up there" my Papa would say, pointing to the top of the barn loft, as the roof is crumbling and the bats are moving in " you'll be fine, your young and bouncy" ..... or "Jump into the boar pen ok, and grab that piglet, I'll distract the boar over here, just hop the fence if it looks dicey" my fav! "Get in the tractor bucket and I'll lift you in the air (30 or so feet) to tie that ok?" JESUS! I woulda told that old fool to get stuffed!!
How we had everything we ever needed still amazes me, this woman can stretch a dollar like no other!! We were never hungry, sick of eating rice and wild meat, but never truly hungry and we always had apples and oranges. We always had clothes and decent shoes and love! We always had love. I think back on the times I ate my homemade jam and bread sandwich at school longing for the thin slices of wonderbread and the jam from a jar like my friends. Or all the times I traded my homemade cookies for oreos and listen to my classmates say how they wish their mom's would make them cookies. I remember thinking I wish my mom would buy cookies and bread instead of making them. As a grown up, I think about everything I do in a day, and then try to fit in making bread and cookies for my kids.... can't do it, there's a trade off - clean house and an on time supper or cookies?? Forget baking bread during the week, cuz that's just crazy talk!
Mom is the mother that went without so we could have something.... no cigarettes so we could have lunch money, or no coffee so we could have the treat at the store. She would scrimp and save so my sisters and I could have the "good" shampoo and conditioner, and the expensive deodorant. Those small things I will remember forever. She would fight with our father so we could go on field trips, sport events and sleepovers. I never saw my mom buy herself something new until I was grown and had a kid of my own, and even then she was concerned that it was over $20! Seriously!
She always had and still does have time for us, each of us. All four "big" kids, and then my mini me (my baby sister) and all the grandkids we have blessed her with.We never felt left out or that she loved one of us or than the other. She always has time to listen to us, or our children or our friends. And she sees the difference in us as well, where I need a firm hand ;) and my #4 needed a softer approach, my #5 needed to run wild and free and Pugsley needed to stand and be a man. She taught us to be kind, and compassionate, and to share what we had, even if what we had was nothing. She showed us that things aren't always crap, and sometimes you need to make your own happy ending. She made us all to be independent and strong.To have a voice, and make yourself be heard. She showed us that if you make a mistake, have enough pride in yourself to say you screwed up and take the aftermath like an adult. She taught us how to be good role models and good parents.
We didn't have the cleanest house in Canada, but when you have sneaky baby goats, a shetland pony that can open doors and a child with a guinea pig farm and a child with a stealing ferret,parrots, rats and basically a zoo, who can keep a clean house? We might not have had designer clothes, but we had clean and hole free clothes, and shoes that were suitable for the season. We might not have had alot growing up, but what we did have was special. We were the 5 marines, just us against the world..... the bonds between us are unbreakable, even if we fight, it will always be us against the world.
The 5 most important thing I learned from my mother
1. If you can read, you can do anything
2. Money doesn't = Love
3. Don't shot until you can see the whites of their eyes
4. Be kind to everyone, even if they don't deserve it
5. Kids need to get dirty
If I am half the mother my Mom is, I will be proud of myself, because her shoes are extreme hard to
fill!!
Happy Mothers Days!! ~ Angie
Saturday, May 7, 2011
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